A prayer from a selfish sinner

Father I am sorry.

I have been selfish.

I have made this life about me and not about you.

And I have blamed you for the things I have allowed to go wrong in my life.

I pretended that you didn’t care because it gave me someone else to point the finger at besides myself.

I know you are good, yet I convinced myself that goodness could be withheld.

I looked at my life and saw all of the things I didn’t like…all of the things that sin has provoked in my life and I blamed it all on you.

I allowed myself to believe you caused me pain. I allowed myself to believe that your gifts are not good and perfect.

I know this is wrong.

I know every good and perfect gift is from you.

I also know that even when I suffer… that is a gift.

Because sorrow and suffering reap joy and peace.

I may sow tears now but because of this I will reap joyful shouting.

I know that trial and tribulation produce in me wisdom and understanding that will not and cannot be gained anywhere else.

I know that it is not your will for us to be in pain, but you will allow it because you know it helps us to grow.

You love me and you allow me to call you Abba.

Because of your goodness and love I don’t have to face an eternity of sorrow.

And though sorrow may last for the night joy WILL come in the morning.

You have given me a gift that cannot be tainted. You have given me the promise of your love forever.

Help me to focus on what is important.

To remember that those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength.

Trust is a beautiful thing. I don’t want to doubt you again.

I trust in your unfailing love.